It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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