Fuck appropriateness.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
