There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
