Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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