Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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