kristin has been a bad kristin
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
