I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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