Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
