mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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