you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
