My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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