One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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