How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
