we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
