Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
