I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
