What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
