He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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