True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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