It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
