her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
