Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
