Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
