Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

and on the seventh day, God created megan fox

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(641): View more from Iowa

she has no idea who harrison ford is.

(617): View more from Massachusetts

see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS

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(619): View more from California

He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.

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