Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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