so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
