I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize