3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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