yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
now i know why i became what i already was.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
