fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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