dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
