i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
