I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
