Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
