what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
