How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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