First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
