Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
