i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
pray to the hookup gods
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
