i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
