Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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