Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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