i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
