you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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