two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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