I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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