why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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