Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
