i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
