I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
