I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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