theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
