They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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