I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize