Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
