Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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