Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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