i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
