what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
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