i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
