how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
