I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize