i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize