is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
