she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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