i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
